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At
the risk of being offensive,
it’s my opinion that people
can be mean.
Especially children.
Whether or not it’s
intentional, whether or not they
understand the lasting effects
of their comments, or the depth
of the hurt that those comments
cause, I don’t know.
What I do know is that
having been the target of a
couple of schoolyard bullies has
left a lasting mark on me.
Although it has been 30+
years, if I close my eyes I can
still see their faces, I can
still hear their taunts.
Of all the kids I went to
school with, it’s those
tormentors names that I remember
with the greatest ease.
I am a grown woman now, a
mother and a grandmother, and I
feel silly allowing the bad
feeling of so long ago to color
my perception of myself, but I
still do.
Despite the fact that
I’ve matured into a strong,
capable, loving woman, sometimes
that frightened little girl
still pokes her head out of her
hiding place and brings back
with her all the self-doubt
instilled in me by those other
girls in times past.
I was their favorite
target simply because I
possessed crooked, prominent
teeth, and a pointy “witch”
chin.
I
still possess those physical
attributes, despite several
years of wearing braces,
retainers, and other dental
work.
And, those features still
affect how I feel about myself. I can only imagine how good it must feel to look in the
mirror and be proud of the
reflection.
How good it must feel to
laugh without hesitation, to
grin without reservation.
What is it like to choose
the content of a meal based on
what appeals to the appetite,
instead of what I am capable of
chewing?
As I anticipate the
possibility of renovating my
outward appearance, I also
eagerly anticipate the changes
that my inner self will
inevitably undergo as a result.
I don’t believe that
cosmetic changes will magically
transform my relationships or
alter my approach to life.
But I do believe that a
few essential physical changes
provided by DreamMakeover
Tri-Cities will have a
dramatically positive impact on
the way I see myself.
And, if I feel that good
about myself, how can it not
sill over into all of my other
relationships?
The one other
physical aspect that I requested
be addressed is the scarring on
my stomach caused by two
surgeries that I underwent a few
years ago.
Those scars are a daily
reminder of a difficult and
scary time in our lives, and
I’d be very pleased and
relieved to see them gone.
So, I’m hoping that
DreamMakeover Tri-Cities will
help me to lay to rest the hurt
little girl that still lives on
inside of me, as well as the bad
memories of a short time ago.
I anticipate the day when
I walk out, shoulders back and
head held high, to surprise my
friends and family with a
“me” that’s as beautiful
outside as she is inside. |
